Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There r osticjed everywhere
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
