I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
