thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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