Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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