Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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