Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
