saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize