I'm so fucking centered right now
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
