Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
