Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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