i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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