Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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