Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I seem to have left my pride at pride
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
