So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
