do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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