I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
