I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
