the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
