Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
