I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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