So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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