You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
