We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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