I accidentally had phone sex last night
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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