so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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