i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
