I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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