do herpes really smell.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
