If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
