I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
