she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
