well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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