I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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