so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
