are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
