Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
