I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
