I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize