we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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