I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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