I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
