Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Its about making memories worth repressing
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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