I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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