note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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