if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
