what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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