Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize