D3 body, D1 cock
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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