He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
