You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
