Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You left your phone here
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