just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
