Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
