so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
