I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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