In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
