he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
