I'm laying in your front yard are you home
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
