How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
