woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize