Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
