I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Is it because I queefed?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
