my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You are a genius and a whore.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
