Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
