ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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