If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Less talking, more tequila
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
