I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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