I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
