making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
