May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
