just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
